Arrrrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!! CHICKEN CANCER!!!!!!!!!

BACKGROUND
So school's just finished and Enoch and I decide to stop over at Admiralty KFC to get a bite after a gaming session of Big Two. We ordered pretty much all we needed for a decent meal and Mohan, being the generous friend that he is, gives us... what you say... extras? and by extras I mean a Bandito Pocket and two extra Snackers. It may not sound like much but I had already ordered one box of snackers and an ultimate value box. Enoch got the UVM and cheese fries.

THE INCIDENT
The bandito pocket has all sorts of weird sauces inside it, so I assigned that to Enoch. He stopped after a full box of cheese fries, the pocket and one piece chicken. So I was left with... 2 pieces of chicken, 2 shroom burgers, 2 small mashed potatoes, a bunch of fries and shared winglets and popcorn chicken (aka the other 2 snackers). After the meal(s), we felt kinda groggy so we had a checkup and this is what we discovered...

DIAGNOSIS
Enoch, having eaten about 1/2 a chicken, was diagnosed with stage 1 chicken cancer. I, having eaten approximately one full chicken, was diagnosed with stage 3 chicken cancer.

Wait...WTF IS CHICKEN CANCER?
Cancer, as you may or may not know, occurs when cells in the body lack a gene to tell it to die. Therefore they just stay there as bad cells and kinda help the other good cells rot too. Since we ate a crap load of chicken, we were now practically chickens... because we are what we eat. And chickens lack the gene to die, evidenced by the phrase "running around like a HEADLESS CHICKEN". So uhh yeah...

EPILOGUE
Luckily the good news is that the doctors said we could easily crap out all these bad cells (literally... if you catch my drift...) before they could "infect" us, so we're pretty much ok now.

TV
"WHAT IS LOVE?" - Haddaway
These "Melvin" incidents have got me thinking lately, "Does love at first sight exist?". My opinion? Yes... but only because we are so shallow. Find out why by checking out a show called "The Science of Sex Appeal". Basically a group of scientists took a few tests to find out what causes us humans to be attractive. The results: We humans really are that damn shallow. Males are relatively attracted to females with "the curves" because us simpletons perceive those women as "fertile". And the females generally care about the males with high ranking statuses so that they can be protected. Find out more on the show, it is very interesting.

P.S. If you do know what I mean by "Melvin" incidents, good for you. If not, don't ask, my good conscience won't allow me to discuss it with you. By the way this is completely unrelated to "The Streak" in case any of you were thinking of that.

Final Comment
Chicken cancer sucks